Pappa wants mamma naked
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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