The best revenge is premature balding
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
