Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just threw up on my dentist
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
they're like a gay fantastic four
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
