he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
