so that wasnt chicken after all
Say something about gay babies.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Green mimosas i think yes
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
