NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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