i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
