Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
