We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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