I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
