So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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