the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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