Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
