ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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