We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
