just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I think my vagina is haunted
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
