i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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