Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
