Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
