we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
jump out the window naked night went bad
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
