I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
