THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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