there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
