How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
