John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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