I want to stick my p in your. b.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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