Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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