based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
