its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
