I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
