I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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