I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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