Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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