It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
