thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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