soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
