belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
