I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
PANTIES FOUND
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
