I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
