i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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