Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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