I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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