Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
