If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
