So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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