I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
