You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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