my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
