Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
