I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
