I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Can you bring me the toilet please
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize