he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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