my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
