If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I want her autograph on my taint
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My penis needs a shock collar
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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