I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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