We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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