I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Randomize
