Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
